Dog Talk

He won the “no bell” prize.

Help I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up

But it was just a red hairing

Narcolepsy is not to be confused with Narcolipsy Narcolipsy is the urge to rat people out.

Who starts a conversation like that???

Mom calls her 8 year old son into the family room where she is waiting with her husband. She says to her son, "Johnny, you were adopted." Johnny launches into a screaming tantrum and demands to meet his biological parents. Mom says, "we are your biological parents son, now go pack, you were adopted."

A man walks into a bar and the barman is astonished. Half of the man's head is half of a huge orange. 'So sorry to be nosy,' the barman says, 'but why is half of your head half of a huge orange?' 'Well, I was cleaning up the barn, the man says, 'and I found an old lamp. I polished it up, and a genie came swooping out of it, saying, 'may I grant you any three wishes, master?' So I said, 'I'd like to have a million dollars - and every time I take the million dollars out of my pocket, another million appears there.' The genie said, 'Your wish is granted. And your second wish?' The man says, 'I'd like a big house with 100 beautiful ladies in it.' 'Your wish is granted, says the genie. 'And your third wish?' 'I'd like half my head to be half of a huge orange.'

Because we tossed the T in the ocean.

Because it had been charged with intent.

I don’t understand how cemeteries can raise their prices and blame it on the cost of living.